Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
