Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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