Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His hands were made for my vagina.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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