on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
