i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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