We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize