She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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