We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
