Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i out mim tonsoeep
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