some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
