His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize