Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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