Don't you send me to vm
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
