Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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