So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
