I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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