all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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