I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
