His pubic hair was longer than his dick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
