need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
