Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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