Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
