Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
