you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
