Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
