i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
