saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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