Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My feet surprised me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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