Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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