I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
