i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
3 2 1 whiskey
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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