Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
