white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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