you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
