Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Please don't give away my fajitas
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