Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
