Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
