i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize