you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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