): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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