Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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