Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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