Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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