Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
