Christians are straight up FREAKS
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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