My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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