I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
