You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
