..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
