Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize