I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize