Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
