Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
