you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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