One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
