five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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