His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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