ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize