Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
