And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
