So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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