Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
