she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize