in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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