Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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