I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
