He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
