I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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