i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
