I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
