On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
