ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
