Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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