I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
