Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
