did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
