I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
